The Babble Continues. . .

Its been over a week since I introduced myself to you, so I figure I should write something about myself.  Today was just one of those days.  You know, the ones where you wake up and decide to get out of bed even though all of your soul tells you to go back to sleep.

Okay, I know you know all about the one I’m talking about, so we don’t need to spend time dwelling on it.

My entire life has been filled with indecision.  I guarantee that the parts that were not were because of spur of the moment decisions.  If given time to think on anything, I can, and will convince myself not to make a decision.  It is as if I can claim I want this or that, and then contradict myself five minutes later.  Sound familiar?  Not too unlike the concept of the “Angel” and the “Demon” on the shoulder, except my discussions involve five legitimate conversations and voices.  Between us is normally an incredibly varied set of interests and wants.  And that is without going into the idea of needs.  We have one thing in common – the basic agreement that our life needs to do two things – survive and raise our son.

Beyond those two things – which we have done terrible things for – we are all completely separate entities who share one body.  Due to the fact that you are dealing with many of us, you will have to accept that the subject may change quite regularly. You will never truly have an idea of the extent of this.

Many people get frustrated with me, learning to get along with five people is not an easy thing.  Very few people succeed in ever truly knowing us.

I am often asked what it is like to be me.  In reality, being ‘me’ is no different from being you.  I am not the others, they are not me.  We just share a lot of things, including, but not limited to our physical formulation.

Most often we describe ourselves as “shattered”.  We were not born knowing one another, we met one another at different times in our lives, this will be discussed later.

I am never alone.  It is both blessing and curse.  We must share everything in order to coexist.  Our friends, our family, our life.  I am told this is rare, that “personalities” do not just learn to get along.  Well, typical of me, we are not the average person.

Most of my current issues in my life revolve around the fact that I suffer from low self esteem.  Not all of us do, but I do.  This is a good thing [that we do not all share this issue].

Our tastes differ – in clothes, activities, wants, needs, likes and dislikes.  We fear different things, we love in this same manner.  With different needs, it make being committed to someone difficult.  We need different things.  Between us, we need a lover, an equal, a friend, a Dom, a Master, a cuddler.  We need a father and a mentor, a teacher and a confidant. We also need a person who can accept that they may wake up next to someone different on a semi regular basis.  Most people can not even comprehend this, let alone can accept it.  Thus it makes life, and a relationship, difficult.

I am not entirely sure tonight’s entry made a difference to anyone, but it makes a difference for me.  Its important for you to be able to understand, that while I shall always sign my entries with “Girl Wonder“, you may potentially be speaking with a wide range of women.  Next trip, we shall introduce you to each of us separately.

“Girl Wonder”