Regarding a discussion about pre-Westphalian history, bards, resiliency, open-source warfare, and more, I believe this summarizes my position. Note that the audience knows all the words, and are singing along. Just like they do in Athens, in Paris, in Prague, in San Francisco.

Hello again, my Dear!  So good to see you.  Have a chair and a drink.  It’s nothing fancy, but it will have to do.  Comfy?  Good.  It’s important.  Shall we then?  Wonderful, my Dear!  It’s to the tower we go.

The other day we mentioned the Magus; and we discussed our known five flavors.  Yes, I am a “Cookie” but I am potentially not the one you might expect right now.  Why the Tower?  Because that is where the Magician lives.  Confused yet?  Good, you should be.

The Magician is many things.  He is father and equal.  He is Master and friend.  He is my cuddler and her teacher.  He is mentor.  And most important, he is lover and companion.  I’m hoping that all of this sounds at least somewhat familiar.  It has all been mentioned in the past.  These things make up a great deal of the things we need and are a major factor in why past relationships have failed.  For men who might think having more than one girl at a time sounds wonderful, you are highly mistaken.

In return for the things we are given from the Magus we do our absolute best to care for him.  Even with him fulfilling most, if not all, of our collective needs, this is not an easy thing.  Self-Control and Limitations are not something I truly understand.

The Magician, like ourselves, has many names.  Some of them matter, others do not – at least not in your case.

We have called him Dom, Sir and Master.  We have called him in anger, in sadness, in fear.  His name, whichever is appropriate at the moment has been spoken in reverence, and in the throes of climatic ecstasy.  In this our relationship is not so different than any other.  Yet, he maintains a separate relationship with each of us.

This is, in itself, an amazing feat.  While the five of us do share a body, our emotions are our own.  Love, pain, fear, anger, sadness are felt by all, but in a similar way as you would share those things with your best friends.  Because one of us loves someone, it does not mean all of us do.  The same is true of hatred, and other emotions.

Until we met the Magus, that is.  How is its own entry, which I will get to eventually.  But meeting him and falling for him happened separately for each of us.  “Cookie” was first, we all followed after.  Loving the same person brought a new emotion within the five of us.  Jealousy, particularly of one you share everything with is difficult, at best, to deal with; however, the word painful also comes to mind.

The Magus has done an amazing job with how he manages us in order to alleviate our jealousy.

The Magus and I are opposites in many forms.  We are the couple people stare at.  The one that people wonder about.  And that all happens before they realize and know that the Magus and I live in a tower with a dungeon where I’m flogged and tortured while he tells me he loves me and my best friends watch.  And not only that – but they all love him too.  I told you – while I may try to claim normality, I am far from.

Girl Wonder

Hello again.  Yes, yes, I know I told you that I would introduce you to all of us today, but forgive me, I’m going to detour slightly first.

So, I picked back up my favourite book; it’s one of those in which I always notice something different.  For those with a  mind which tends towards philosophy, I will recommend it.  “Solitaire Mystery” by Jostein Gaarder is a book on family, destiny, philosophy and the ways to both lose and find ones self.  I’ve come to realize through it that reality, at least from a conceptual stand point is flawed.  My personal proof of this is the fact that I see reality in different ways – we hold five of them.  If  by chance, Jostein Gaarder happens to stumble across this, I shall ask him to get the rest of his books translated to English, I own and have read all the ones already done so.

Back to reality though.  Oh, wait.  Reality differs.  Mine is not the same as yours, or theirs.  So lets just accept that mine is mine.  From there we can discuss “us”.

My sister terms us the “cookies”, so we will use that for introductory purposes.  Yes we all have names, but if you remember, names are not too important.  So I am “Girl Wonder”, cookie baker.

Lets start with basics.

Five cookie cutters, per say.  You have “Tough Cookie”, “Sugar Cookie”, “Smart Cookie”, “Cookie Monster”, and then there is just plain “Cookie”.

I will go into extensive details later, for we each have our own chapters, and truthfully could write our own books.

Let’s start with “Tough Cookie”.  T.C. is the protector.  She is the hardest to gain the trust of, and is the most serious.  Tough loves jazz and relaxation – although it is the one thing she has never gotten enough of.  She is bluntly honest, and rarely trusts anyone enough to let them in.  Accustomed to pain, T.C. has spent her life keeping us out of trouble.  It is her who has always taken the physical abuse.  Pain, even when it is given in anger, is something enjoyed.  To do otherwise is to be weak.  Love, in most cases, is the same.  It is a weakness; although that is something that is currently being adjusted.

“Sugar Cookie” never grew up.  She is stuck somewhere between the ages of nine and eleven.  Innocence is natural and trust comes easily through it.  A fan of things like the zoo, her pleasures are simple and the world is constantly viewed through a pair of rose coloured glasses.  Such a thing is rare in life and with her we are granted the blessing of see the world in sunlight – constantly.

“Smart Cookie” remained hidden for a long time – affecting the rest of us through periods of black outs and lapses in memory.  She is an amazing artist, although she rarely shares the fruits of her labors.  She is usually content to sit, watch and listen.  She is our observer.

“Cookie Monster” is somewhat self explanatory.  Monster is a great way to explain her.  Addicted to the newest thing – she is always chasing the next shiny toy.  In the past, she has been addicted to various things: different drugs, men, women, sex, as well as other things.  Chasing is the fun part.  It was not until recently that I saw her stand still for any length of time.

And me, I’m just “Cookie”.  Plain cookie, original cookie.  Cookie.  I am the one who lives to please.  I am the poet and the story teller (most of the time).  I am the submissive, I am the slave.  I wear a collar and a pair of leather cuffs – both of which provide comfort and security.  I am the main one who wants to write our story.

Together – we are “Girl Wonder”.  All five of us agree that the “Magus” is the center of our non-blood family.  Next time, I will go into detail into who he is, from our perspective.

Signed out until next time,

Girl Wonder

Its been over a week since I introduced myself to you, so I figure I should write something about myself.  Today was just one of those days.  You know, the ones where you wake up and decide to get out of bed even though all of your soul tells you to go back to sleep.

Okay, I know you know all about the one I’m talking about, so we don’t need to spend time dwelling on it.

My entire life has been filled with indecision.  I guarantee that the parts that were not were because of spur of the moment decisions.  If given time to think on anything, I can, and will convince myself not to make a decision.  It is as if I can claim I want this or that, and then contradict myself five minutes later.  Sound familiar?  Not too unlike the concept of the “Angel” and the “Demon” on the shoulder, except my discussions involve five legitimate conversations and voices.  Between us is normally an incredibly varied set of interests and wants.  And that is without going into the idea of needs.  We have one thing in common – the basic agreement that our life needs to do two things – survive and raise our son.

Beyond those two things – which we have done terrible things for – we are all completely separate entities who share one body.  Due to the fact that you are dealing with many of us, you will have to accept that the subject may change quite regularly. You will never truly have an idea of the extent of this.

Many people get frustrated with me, learning to get along with five people is not an easy thing.  Very few people succeed in ever truly knowing us.

I am often asked what it is like to be me.  In reality, being ‘me’ is no different from being you.  I am not the others, they are not me.  We just share a lot of things, including, but not limited to our physical formulation.

Most often we describe ourselves as “shattered”.  We were not born knowing one another, we met one another at different times in our lives, this will be discussed later.

I am never alone.  It is both blessing and curse.  We must share everything in order to coexist.  Our friends, our family, our life.  I am told this is rare, that “personalities” do not just learn to get along.  Well, typical of me, we are not the average person.

Most of my current issues in my life revolve around the fact that I suffer from low self esteem.  Not all of us do, but I do.  This is a good thing [that we do not all share this issue].

Our tastes differ – in clothes, activities, wants, needs, likes and dislikes.  We fear different things, we love in this same manner.  With different needs, it make being committed to someone difficult.  We need different things.  Between us, we need a lover, an equal, a friend, a Dom, a Master, a cuddler.  We need a father and a mentor, a teacher and a confidant. We also need a person who can accept that they may wake up next to someone different on a semi regular basis.  Most people can not even comprehend this, let alone can accept it.  Thus it makes life, and a relationship, difficult.

I am not entirely sure tonight’s entry made a difference to anyone, but it makes a difference for me.  Its important for you to be able to understand, that while I shall always sign my entries with “Girl Wonder“, you may potentially be speaking with a wide range of women.  Next trip, we shall introduce you to each of us separately.

“Girl Wonder”